37-year-old man steals $48 from girlfriend's niece's piggy bank, girlfriend cuts him off: 'Not only did he take from a child, he did so without communication'

Is it stealing if you gifted it to someone in the first place?

The answer is yes, unless you're the man in this story. You know when something is stealing. You probably don't have to wonder. And taking money from a child's piggy bank- even if you gave them the change to put in there- is a cartoon-villain style offense. Just because it's easy to take, doesn't mean you should. You don't want that child to grow up thinking it's okay to take things just because you want them. This isn't a great example to set, not to mention it hurts them in the short run as well. Another thing that's imperative as a parent and as a partner is communication. If you run around telling lies, then you can't expect people to treat you seriously. And in a relationship, it's a major breach of trust. 

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  • 01
    A man puts money in a piggy bank
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02

    Piggy Bank "Loan"...

    Me 37F created a change jar for my niece, a piggy bank of sorts. I have had this jar since 2018 and I just throw whatever random change I have in it. Which in this day and age of no cash isn't much but it's just something little I do for her. Over the last 3.5 years my boyfriend (37M) has added his spare change for her as well.
    via Dergz_R_Us
  • 03
    Today I (37F) was cleaning my spare room when I noticed this change jar that is designated for my niece was half empty. I called my boyfriend (37M) immediately as he is the only one that would have access to this jar. I asked him did you take money from my nieces piggy bank. He replied that yes it's only $48 he needed gas to get to work and he's gonna pay it back. I asked him when did he take this money and he said sometime earlier this week.
    via Dergz_R_Us
  • 04
    I told him this is entirely unacceptable, not only did he take from a child, he did so without communication. He told me I wasn't home and we were fighting so he forgot to tell me and it's not a big deal he's going to pay it back.
    via Dergz_R_Us
  • 05
    I told him it's a huge deal once money enters that's jar it's ceases to be mine or his, it is the child's. And that his financial irresponsibility shouldn't be bailed out by a child's piggy bank.
    via Dergz_R_Us
  • 06
    He think I'm overreacting, categorizing this wrong and painting him to be a thief. He claims he simply forgot to tell me he did it and it's not a big deal because he added money over the last 4 years and he's going to pay it back. I told him I'm physically ill and I don't recognize him. That this is deception and theft
    via Dergz_R_Us
  • 07
    He's upset that I called him at work to confront him AITA?
    via Dergz_R_Us
  • 08
    Edit- It's known and agreed by both my boyfriend and I that this is my nieces change jar. It's for her and things for her. we call it "her name" jar. And if there's spare change we say "don't forget to grab her names change. Or pick up a coin from the ground and say "for name"
    via Dergz_R_Us
  • 09
    A couple has an argument with each other
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • That's what happened here, where an incident of stealing, which the man in this story tried to cover up, actually started to unravel a relationship. When you can't trust the person whom you're supposed to trust the most, your partner, then what do you do? And trust can unravel in an instant with the admission of a lie. Or rather, the investigation of a lie. He didn't come clean, but his girlfriend found out through alternative means. This is even worse. It's one thing to make a mistake and cop to it, and it's another thing to bury it and expect to get away with it. That's what happened here, though. The question remained: how do you move past something like that? Do you move past it? Or do you end a relationship over it? That's what one woman was considering doing when she reached out to the internet for a little more help. Sometimes you need outside perspectives to truly understand a situation, and that's what the internet is good for. Everyone has an opinion, whether you want it or not, and fortunately, in this case, it was warranted. Keep scrolling to read what happened in the story and see what commenters had to say about it.

  • 10

    Commenters gave their takes on the situation.

    theequeenbee3 Nta. If you didn't notice half was gone, he would have "forgotten" to pay it back.
    via theequeenbee3
  • 11
    wesmorgan1 Yeah, taking someone else's money without any discussion is an AH move. NTA on the big picture - but you get a small Y-T-A for how you handled it. You couldn't wait until he got home, so you confronted him angrily over the phone while he was at work? That's not good, especially since you were apparently already fighting.
    via wesmorgan1
  • 12
    Specialist-Owl26... NTA You're right, he basically stole from a child's piggy bank.
    via Specialist-Owl2660
  • 13
    G... ESH. It is not cool to take money from the piggy bank, but as long as he was going to return it. 'I told him I'm physically ill and I don't recognize him. That this is deception and theft' over $48 sitting on a jar at y'all's place for a kid IS an overreaction.
    via Glass-Satisfaction19
  • 14
    Impossible-Com... Has he done this type of behavior before? Do you believe him when he says he would have paid it back? His track record should tell you everything....
    via Impossible-Comon344
  • 15
    WholeAd2742 NTA It's theft. The amount isn't the issue, it's the betrayal of trust that he simply took it without advising you. That's a giant red flag
    via WholeAd2742
  • 16
    No-Throat-8885 It's wrong of him to take it but you are over reacting. Talk to him calmly in person. He's not entitled to borrow from it just because he has added to it in the past. If he'd left a simple IOU $48 note it would have been better. Discuss with him parameters moving forward. If it happens again then you can go nuclear if that's what you want.
    via No-Throat-8885
  • 17
    fartenandmagellan NTA. Either he didn't realize how much the piggy bank meant or he's being shady and disrespectful. But you were NTA to call him out on it and say it's unacceptable.
    via fartenandmagellan
  • 18
    Imaginary-Goat1... NTA. An understanding was agreed to and he's TAH for now taking advantage. Selfish of him. He wouldn't like it if someone took from his child's piggy bank...but then again...he'd probably get it first.
    via Imaginary-Goat1010
  • 19
    Lilylake_55 Your bf should have discussed it with you, definitely. You'd probably have helped him out. I know it's not the same thing, but you've brought up a memory from my childhood in the 60s.
    via Lilylake_55
  • 20
    We were poor, and I mean really poor, after my dad deserted us & never paid child support or alimony. I had a piggy bank that I'd been saving money in. And one day when I was about 9 my mother sat down with me & told me she needed the money in the piggy bank. She needed it to buy some food for us (me, my sister, and her).
    via Lilylake_55
  • 21
    It made me unhappy, but I understood. I knew how things stood with our family, and we opened the piggy bank up together. Looking back, I can see that it must have k led my mother inside to have to ask me for that. There were a few other times when one or the other of us had to sacrifice for the family, too.
    via Lilylake_55
  • 22
    Azdak66 YTA. I can see expressing some disagreement and both making sure he pays it back and maybe setting further boundaries, but "physically ill" and "don't recognize him" is more of a "you" overreaction problem than a "him" taking money problem, IMO.
    via Azdak66
  • 23
    Jazzy404404 He wasn't going to pay it back. He's upset that he got caught. Make sure he actually did pay her back
    via Jazzy404404
  • 24
    Sol_Muso NTA, my mother "borrowed" from my piggy bank too. I haven't spoken to her in 10 years. Not because of the money, but due to a whole cocktail of reasons. If you're willing to take money from a child, there's probably a lot more wrong with you. And I see you mention he has a history of behaviour already. He wasn't gonna return this.
    via Sol_Muso
  • 25
    WomanInQuestion NTA - if he asks to borrow money, that's a loan. If he takes money without asking, that's stealing. It's pretty cut and dried.
    via WomanInQuestion

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Dating-Relationships relationship advice stealing niece relationships piggy bank money children
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